If I were to die in my sleep tonight, that'd be fine. I am not scared, I wouldn't protest. There was a moment at about 2am on Tuesday morning, when I was dancing and playing some giraffe-shaped castanets just as Alex, Kip, Kurt and Peggy of the Pains of Being Pure at Heart finally walked through the door of Jaynie's flat and the rest of us were playing them the daft song we've been writing for them while getting worried about their whereabouts - there was that moment, when I felt so fulfilled, so happy, so grounded in the present. Look at us all, we can have fun. We don't have to be anything else than what we are now. We don't care if we look silly because we are among friends. Just at that moment, we all knew what was important and what was important was that we were therethen, lost in a haze of warmth, some of it alcohol-fuelled, admittedly, but most of all it was bliss. The moment all of us finally found each other in that room, the smiles, the relief, the disbelief and that absolute understanding of what was going through each other's minds. We were as beautiful as anything could ever be and our life was amazing. Fuck it, it still is.