It's a choice between a bass and a glockenspiel

First of all, here is an mp3: it's one of my favourite songs of all time and as I am not one for end-of-year lists or polls or anything that makes you compare and contrast when you should be dancing or daydreaming, I thought I'd post a song that doesn't make me nostalgic or even particularly happy. It just makes me swoon.

Red Sleeping Beauty, 'You're the Kind' (.mp3)

As I am sitting in silence in the spare room, the noise of the wind is deafening, despite the double glazing. I can probably feel it more than I can hear it but the lights of Brixton twinkle so brightly behind the bare trees that they become almost audible. I love saying 'I am shattered', especially when I am. I am shattered. The sound of people talking makes my head bang and I can't understand a word that anyone is saying. I type out emails and click 'delete' instead of 'send'. I think of the future and cry. I go to bed and my eyes hurt when I close them and I move my limbs around in despair, and lose my patience. Pop music is only something I double-click on to listen to, or a flyer on Photoshop that takes ages to load. Still, I am proud and my eyes shine as I catch the bus in the rain in the morning because there are things to look forward to, random little things like popshows, or shivering in the cold watching football, or sleeping on a floor surrounded by people whose hearts are in the same place as yours (the right place, in case you are wondering) or waiting for a delivery of a shiny new bass guitar.

There is hope. It's small but very bright. Blindingly so.

And this, this is the brightest thing of all: