Sitting at work with the sun breaking in through every single hole and window, creating an illusion of sparkliness in what is otherwise a very drab, lonely place, the others are talking about the sense of nostalgia evoked by warm September afternoons. And, as it often happens when I'm around, Jonathan Richman starts singing through the speakers... "Do you long for her or for the way you were?"
I lack a strong sense of memory and in that way I am not nostalgic. Is it because I'm so far removed from the place where my stronger memories would stem from? Or maybe it's because I'm always striving to avoid nostalgia because I'm desperate for today to be better than yesterday when it's mostly out of my control and an impossible task; but yes, maybe this day two years ago I was in seventh heaven and today I'm only trying to make my day better than it was on, say, Thursday. But I find it very easy to switch off from thinking back to so-called happier times because I'm here and it's now and that's all I have to work with.
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3 comments:
Ah, yes. I used to call this force that makes here and now more important by default 'metaphorical gravity'. You should be proud of it. Some people work their whole lives towards living in the moment, and you just do it!
Thanks Dimitra. That's probably the sweetest thing anyone's ever told me. x
Anytime. It's just that you are a girl after my own heart.
(By the way, I do hope that was just a manner of speaking and that Christos has managed something sweeter in all those years. He'd better have!)
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